I recently read an article in Haven Magazine that questioned whether we can look great and grow at the same time (their answer was no). I think there may be the select few who can do both, like the people who look fresh after a long red eye international flight. I am not one of them. After a long flight I have dark bags under my eyes, blotchy skin, and disheveled hair. I fail to gracefully get my overstuffed carry on baggage from the overhead bin and I yawn as I pass the flight attendants saying, "Thank you." No bueno.

My growth this year didn't come in the form of travel, like in the Haven Magazine article. It came in the form of a motorcycle accident. On May 31st, 2014, I got a call from my brother-in-law that my husband, Kelly, had been in an accident. I didn't know the extent of the impact this day would have on my life yet, but I knew it wasn't good.

It's amazing what people say to you in times of great pain or trauma. "God's testing you," and "What is God trying to teach you?" a few people asked. Other, wiser people said their thoughts and prayers were with us. And wiser ones still just showed up and did what we needed to have done to get to tomorrow. Now, many months from the injury, I can respond to those two questions/statements.

1. God is not testing me.

God is with me, but He is not testing me. On top of all the crap, pain, aching, despair, hate, anger, betrayal, brokenness, God did not say, "On top of all this, let's test you and see if you pass or fail." I don't think God wanted to add failure to the list in all his love and mercy.

2. God is teaching me to be graceful to people who ask stupid questions. God did not create the accident. Free will and the sin of man created the accident. Turning away from God created the accident. So no, God did not create this atrocity in our lives to teach us something. Again, He has been with us as we deal with the consequences of our own sinful nature.

Have I grown? That's still to be determined. I haven't looked my best this year though, if that's any indication.